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Echoes and Mirrors» Blog Archive » Sun Vs Moon

Sun Vs Moon

Originally published in Hobson’s Choice.

“Stop it! There are no chemicals in the water! That is not real. You know that is not real. Get out of the closet…”

I pissed myself and Jeremy rolled over. Nobody could sleep. It took hours for the moon to pass by, and I just wanted to brush my teeth again. They never allowed for that after dark. We were only allowed to the urinals after dark. Samson had tried to shit in the urinals once. He ended up with a crack in the head and pumped full of Thorazine, the lucky bastard.

Knotty was in the garbage can again. They found him early and the yelling never seemed to stop. The moon was gone now, though.

I took my pills and stared at the tiled floor, wondering about the Holy Chaos. There were always too many rules, lines and needles. The lines were the worst, always the worst. There were more and more everyday.

I spent two days vomiting after that, every time I was given medication. Chalky, chemical vomit from another dimension. There was no peace. The fight was stagnant. A cold war. The nurses gave us the evil eye, and most of us just drooled on ourselves. I stared at their asses. Sometimes I danced with the mop.

“You boys will never get better acting the way you do. I wonder why you do this? Jeremy! Stop that!”

“Knotty is queer! Raaah!”

“Nurse Beecham, I’d do anything for a beer.”

“The army is still after me. They never could get over the fact that I dodged all those bullets the first time.”

“I killed a man in cold blood once.”

“When is supper?”

In February, I took my penis out and began slapping the television in the lounge with it. I asked everyone if what I was doing was crazy. Half-hearted responses to a half-hearted inquiry. Somehow, I felt better just before the bears came and mauled me with needles again.

I had personal sessions with a one-eyed doctor. He coughed a lot. All those germs. His eye-patch. The other eye was penetrating, it’s lone ray-beam trying to cut me up (The Tell-Tale Heart strikes again!) The germs trying to get me. He had a gentle voice, but I didn’t care too much for him, only having one eye and all.

“Let me see your other eye.” I said to him during our first session.

“Randy, we’re here to talk about you. Not me.”

“Let me see it first.” His other eye was missing.

I ranted about the CIA for a minute or two. They weren’t really even a problem, though. Then about the Illuminati. It was a game, always a game. I couldn’t see the sun until the moon came again anyway. What was the point?

“Why am I here?”

“You’re delusional, you know that.”

“Well, there were always too many lines.”

“Too many lines?”

“Lines, everywhere. Structure, rules. Lines.”

“Why does this bother you?”

“It doesn’t bother you?”

“Why should it? It all seems quite normal, safe even.”

“It defies truth. Defies everything.”

“What is truth? Can you explain it to me?”

“Everything.”

“Such as…”

“Potato salad.” The doc stared at me, I repeated it. My first session was over like that.

I just wanted the rules to go to war with each other. Eventually they would, if they kept making more at the speed they were. It would be a fine, bloody day.

Jeremy rolled over and looked at me, “What ever happened to God? Do you remember?”

I couldn’t. Nobody could. We took our pills, slept and we watched television without enthusiasm. The sun came, soon leaving us in the dark and sometimes the moon would also grace the sky.

I think we all just wanted a little more light.

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