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Echoes and Mirrors» Blog Archive » Movie Review: The Mutant Chronicles (2008)

Movie Review: The Mutant Chronicles (2008)

It’s got a title, alright. It is more than an hour long and it has Thomas Jane in it. And it’s apparently about mutants, or something, I guess from the title. How bad can it be? I took two tylenol pm’s and watched it. I don’t know if that affected the review or not.

Pretty good, amazingly enough. It has the requisite introduction/narration by a very wise sounding man (something to do with an alien machine buried in medieval times, or something to that effect. It’s evil, etc.) and then drops the viewer into what appears to be a WWI battle. Except it says 2707, and it’s not countries fighting, it’s corporations. (Queue evil multi-national corporations, in three, two, one…) Their guns are futuristic, but nothing else is. Somehow or another, they open up the cave that the machine was hidden inside of. You can guess where it goes from here. Lots of shadows and fog; it’s very disorienting. Maybe that’s the pills, though.

Thomas Jane kicks ass from the very beginning. He’s the tough old sarge! Ron Perlman is a monk, who also kicks ass! Mutant ass! I guess he made this movie when he wasn’t too busy making that load of horeshit Hellboy II. John Malkovich is in it, too, I guess. He’s very calming and cool. This all adds up to more entertainment value for me, despite (or perhaps because of ?) the thinly veiled anti-corporate, anti-war, pro-faith themes. I guess it’s pro. Fine by me as long as the zombie-mutant things are violently terminated. I think I was going to write something more intelligent sounding there. I cannot remember.

The dialogue is pretty good. It’s not distracting or overdone. It’s fluffy where it needs to be fluffy, witty during action scenes, etc. Not terrible by a long shot.

The whole look/feel of the film is kinda bizarre. I mentioned that already, but I thought about it again. It sort of reminded me of The Breed. (That, itself, was a better flick than most I’ve seen recently.) I guess it’s a steampunk thing. Or something like that.

Sure, some of it drags a bit. There was a horrible portion of Transformers that did that too. Big deal. The whole faux-Catholicism is kinda cheeky. The fighting is pretty much bloody and awesome; it has to be, because they use swords! I should mention that the whole plot seems a bit too Shadow-Run or D&D, but that’s its only real downfall. Spoiler: the black guy dies first. Sorry.

So, take a couple hours and be entertained. 4/5

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