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Echoes and Mirrors» Blog Archive » Human Nature and the BFF

Human Nature and the BFF

Science starts backing up what is already known by those who don’t want to live in a dream-land where romantic comedies set the bar for relationships:

Daniel Kruger, a University of Michigan researcher who studies evolution and how it relates to contemporary behavior, looked at the 50 largest metropolitan areas in the United States to test his hypothesis on how the balance between women and men affects marital patterns. Results showed that men aged 20-24 are more likely to cruise than to commit if they live in an area with more women than men.

One would think that rationally, fewer young men than women would naturally lead to proportionately more young men getting married, but that’s not the case.

“Marriage patterns aren’t rational because men and women have somewhat different reproductive strategies,” Kruger said. “Men have a greater reproductive benefit than women from having a greater quantity of relationships. If they can leverage their scarcity into attracting multiple short-term partners, they will not have as much of an incentive to settle down.”

There are about nine unmarried men for every 10 unmarried women in Birmingham, Memphis, New Orleans, and Richmond-Petersburg, Virginia, Kruger says. Philadelphia, Washington, DC, Baltimore, and New York metropolitan areas are tied for the next region where women are relatively most plentiful. In these areas, about 84 percent of the men aged 20-24 are unmarried. In Las Vegas, San Diego, Salt Lake City, Austin, and Phoenix, there are about nine unmarried women for every 10 unmarried men. In these areas, about 77 percent of the men aged 20-24 are unmarried.

Once those young men hit their 30s, they tend to shift from seeking short-term relationships to entering into committed relationships. That’s because when women evaluate partners for short-term relationships they value physical features signaling the kind of genes that would be passed on to potential offspring, which may be the only legacy of men who don’t stick around for child rearing. These physical features decline as men age, making it more difficult to lure women into uncommitted relationships.

Also, while I was in Peru, I learned that the national average there is 7 females to every male. And prostitution is legal. I’m hardly in a mood to produce supply and demand charts, but imagine how it pans out. Now get your head back in the game and realize that the 30% of men are still banging the top 75% of the women and everyone else can pay six bucks (no joke) to get laid. Either way, the greater the supply, the lower the price, and if you have any wits about you, you can use the legal prostitution to leverage more free pussy than you will know what to do with. And failing that, you might be out six more bucks for the evening.

The Onion thinks this is satire, but it’s more real than they could have imagined: But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them

I really like you. I do. You’re so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don’t really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don’t you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We’re so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn’t want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I’ve got going here.

During the pursuit of a certain young woman recently, I encountered this phenomenon. She announced that one of her male friends was now her BFF. It amused me to no end how he went along with it. I simply stop talking to girls if they try to friend-zone me (except lesbians, because hey, they have brought more than a couple hot straight girls into my orbit).

Memorize this line: “Oh wow, you’re like the little/bigger sister I never had!” I will leave it as an exercise to the reader regarding when to deploy this. It is like a dynamite vest. Or a carbomb.

And now, adding to the fire underneath the weenie roast is this guy, who is suing match.com:

A Brooklyn man sued Match.com yesterday for inflicting “humiliation and disappointment” on lonely hearts “who feel rejected when their e-mails get no reply.”
Sean McGinn alleges the popular matchmaking Web site dangles phony date bait by posting profiles of people who no longer subscribe to its $39.99-a-month service.

As a result, lovelorn singles have been “defrauded” out of millions of dollars and countless hours spent sending heartfelt missives in vain, the 37-year-old TV producer says.
Most members of Match.com — which claims 86 million searches a month in the United States — are actually unavailable because they “are canceled subscribers or never subscribed at all,” according to his suit filed in Manhattan federal court.

Right. Don’t be that guy. I’m not saying don’t use online dating. But if you can’t pick up a girl in a bar, you probably can’t pick her up online. And be sensible… this is the internets for fuck’s sake.