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Echoes and Mirrors» Blog Archive » The internet ruins my brain

The internet ruins my brain

This had never even crossed my mind: people standing to wipe their asses:

Now, I have lived on this planet for 33 years and I have concluded any extended bathroom venture the same way: sitting down, toilet paper bunched in my right hand, reaching back and around my body and gently wiping upwards, balls to butt. That’s how I’ve done it forever. That’s how I’m comfortable. But a couple weeks ago, a handful of our readers mailed in declaring that they stood to wipe, which I found to be completely alien.

Now, reader Dave would like to point out that College Humor did a quick poll of this phenomenon ages ago. Of 4,214 voters, 56% sat, while 44% stood. I found this breakdown to be shockingly even. I never knew. Such is the insular and private nature of our world in the john that we can find ourselves stunned at such different methodology.

This is just really fucking weird. I mean, it is not surprising. I once got into a heated argument about washing shoes with someone. I had never considered doing it.  I wear shoes to keep dirt from getting on my feet. If my shoes get sufficiently dirty, I throw them out.  They acted like I was the fucking weirdo.

Other things I’ve noticed like this are the use of a wash-rag in the shower to lather as opposed to using the bar of soap directly on your skin (for those of us that don’t use girly liquid body soap and lufas like my roomie). I don’t get the need for the extra step involved in lathering up the washcloth.

Or using q-tips in your ears after you shower. Some people don’t clean their ears, I guess.

This sort of thing will never stop bothering me.

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