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Echoes and Mirrors » being a dick

Archive for the ‘being a dick’ Category

Oh hey, I have this blog thing, don’t I?

Sunday, August 1st, 2010

Life has been just a little too hectic to keep up with this, but I’ll get back into the groove sooner or later. I’m done with my summer classes and I’ll be taking all sorts of Literature survey courses. This should provide me with at least some material. Right now, I’m fed up with politics, have resigned myself to just accept how shitty pop culture is and haven’t even applied myself to much beyond getting drunk and making fumbling passes at girls. Also: watching crappy SyFy channel offerings. It’s slowly ruining my taste for science fiction of any sort.

I don’t even know if people can leave comments here, anymore. The spam got so ridiculous that the anti-spam plugins are locked down tighter than a Thai Ladyboy on Sunday morning. And by that I mean, very tight in an undesirable way. I hope.

Anyway, here are three examples of why I hate anything I hate. You may need a stiff drink.

So, Tila Tequila bought a $250,000 Lamborgini Galardo. The flaming wreckage that we’ll see in a few months should generate the loudest, and shortest, Meh from CNN ever. If you look at those pictures, though, the only really confusing part (to me) is the crazy diaper-blouse thing she is wearing. Yes, it shows off her ample cleavage, and despite having a vague knowledge of her public life, I still find that part attractive. Now, the weird mauve diaper part? I’m not sure what to think about that. It almost makes her look like a tranny in the first picture, and ruins the Brittany cooter shot in the other.

Palin says that Obama doesn’t have “the cojones” that Jan Brewer does to take care of immigration. Also, she only believes poll numbers when they suit her. And some asshole reporter is fueling the fire and making her seem relevant when she isn’t by moving in next door. She’s still an idiot, and I’d like her to enjoy the rest of her life in relative silence, be happy with her family without bothering the rest of us. But no, apparently too many other people want to keep the fucking jester around.

And then there’s this:

Which makes me suspect that all the family-advocacy groups and internet teetotalers might be on to something about scrapping the internet and starting over. Or beating children and forcing them into wage slavery at an early age to curb this behavior. Then again, 4chan provides content that is worse by levels of magnitude (although much of that is at least entertaining). There is zero artistic merit to this. Moobies. That is all.

Fuck you, Internet. You’re not what the scientists promised me!


My demographic, let me show it to you.

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

This became a pretty heated debate in the political philosophy course I took last semester: young, single folks don’t matter.

If you are able-bodied and not doing your part in bringing forth a new generation of Americans to do… something, then you aren’t doing anything useful, and should pay more taxes to make up for that. The Rawlsian Difference Principle is like a hamster wheel for the masses.

And, if you want to see ridiculousness in action abroad:

A Jobcentre Plus worker claimed that the word ‘reliable’ meant they could be sued for discriminating against unreliable workers.

The mother-of-two from Hertfordshire today slammed the situation as ‘ridiculous’.

She said: ‘I placed the advert on the website and when I phoned up to check I was told it hadn’t been displayed in the job centre itself.’

Here in the states, those people just stay on unemployment. But we’re not free from ridiculousness either: apparently, giving your employees incentives to be healthier is really discrimination against those who choose not to be healthier. Of course, it has to be Whole Foods, right? And they’re picking on fatties.

I’m reminded of one of my favorite poems (The Second Coming by W.B. Yeats):

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in the sands of the desert.

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Has humanity always aimed toward such egalitarianism? As a collective expectation, it should seem intuitive to expect the strong to help to provide for the weak. But to force it, that just seems like a petty maneuver by those who would benefit the most from the least work on their parts. A vote is five minutes of work that could pay off big-time.

The future is bright for the lazy, fat, baby-making masses.

Also, I am being discriminated against for working hard, not polluting the world with children, being single (and not wanting to get hitched), and being skinny.  Maybe they should give me a stimulus to make me fall in line.


Just a few phonemes off…

Tuesday, January 5th, 2010

Pair Accused of Filching Fillings From Dental Labs

The headline for this article.

Explaining it might ruin the fun.  I have to hand it to those zany AP writers – they got me good today.


Glenn Beck rumours?

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

This Fark.com thread is making me all sorts of stupid happy right now. The arguments about memeology (is that correct?) are funny, but the whole Glenn Beck “controversy” is pure gold.

Father_Jack 2009-10-21 02:29:18 PM
So you are saying its ok to take out an add in your hometown Newspaper saying you raped and murdered a girl in the 90s?

no, because that is slander.

but to ask an open-ended question, “DID FATHER_JACK RAPE AND MURDER A GIRL IN THE 90s?” is protected by free speech, evidently.

there’s a great daily show entry called “punctuation punditry” that calls out the whole “open ended question” sleazy yet legal way to slander. Fox News pioneered it, and now its being used by these guys against their boy.

Having to explain it sucks, but apparently some people just don’t get it.

Ctrl-Alt-Del 2009-10-21 02:45:33 PM
I Like Bread: Wait, I thought it was “murdered and raped”. But then, I guess there’d be no rape since dead girls can’t say ‘no’. Either way, it’s horrible what he did.

You mean it’s horrible what he is rumored to have done. There is currently no convincing evidence that Glenn beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990

However, his continuing refusal to even issue a simple denial of these absolutely horrific allegations does lead one to wonder, doesn’t it?

And the fact that Glenn Beck is now trying to circumvent the US justice system and use a foriegn regulatory body to quietly shut down the website that is investigating these allegations, makes it look even worse.

Glenn Beck, why won’t you just come out and simply deny these rumors? Then this whole sorry mess would just disappear. What possible reason could Glenn Beck have to NOT deny this?

A purely evil tactic. One I’ve successfully employed on a number of occasions – for bad and good, mind you -and wholly encourage the use of it.

Why is it funny though?

tuxedobob 2009-10-21 02:55:00 PM
pd771: daychilde: Also, “by using his tactics”, you acknowledge that those are his tactics. What the hell is a parody, except a satirical reportrayal of someone?

My argument is that the spite in the creation along without any wit makes not fall under the category of parody. I think John Stewart understood this, and that’s the reason he was so against it. Maybe if were in any way creative or funny I’d understand, but I know I’m not going to change any minds on this, so have at this stupidity.

I don’t know, I think it’s pretty funny to see him at the other end of his own modus operandi.

Because this is just too hilarious. Yes it is funny. Turnabout is fair play.

I personally disapprove of Glenn Beck’s socially conservative stance and fear-mongering, much the same way I disapprove of Olberman, Malkin or any other number of political pundits. But the key to their success is that they serve as a sort of Cliff’s Notes for politics to many Americans. Granted, many people need someone to boil it down and summarize the political climate into something quickly digestible. The problem is that the people doing it are ideologically polemic.

The question of whether or not Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990 is interesting because it links the idea of the crime with the name and puts the burden of proof on Glenn Beck. This is the same reason our courts are designed to adhere to innocent until proven guilty. The panopticon does not operate in this manner. There are moral and ethical implications, but those have zero impact on the effectiveness of this tactic. Machiavelli would be proud.


It’s time to get stupid

Monday, August 31st, 2009

America’s War on the Overweight

Practically the minute President Obama announced Regina M. Benjamin, a zaftig doctor who also has an M.B.A. and is the recipient of a MacArthur “genius grant,” as a nominee for the post of Surgeon General, the criticism started.

The attacks were vicious—Michael Karolchyk, owner of a Denver “anti-gym,” told Fox News’ Neil Cavuto, “Obesity is the No. 1 issue facing our country in terms of the health and wellness, and she has shown not that she was born this way, not that she woke up one day and was obese. She has shown through being lazy, and making poor food choices, that she’s obese.”

“This is totally disgusting to have some one so big to be advocating health,” wrote one YouTube commenter.

Too amusing.

Fat bias is nothing new. “Public outrage at other people’s obesity has a lot to do with America from the turn of the 20th century to about World War I,” says Deborah Levine, assistant professor of health policy and management at Providence College. The rise of fat hatred is often seen as connected to the changing American workplace; in the early 20th century, companies began to offer snacks to employees, white-collar jobs became more prominent, and fewer people exercised. As thinness became rarer, says Peter N. Stearns, author of Fat History: Bodies and Beauty in the Modern West and professor of history at George Mason University, it was more prized, and conversely, fatness was more maligned.

Too true.

But why do the rest of us care so much? What is it about fat people that makes us so mad? As it turns out, we kind of like it. “People actually enjoy feeling angry,” says Ryan Martin, associate professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay, who cites studies done on people’s emotions. “It makes them feel powerful, it makes them feel greater control, and they appreciate it for that reason.” And with fat people designated as acceptable targets of rage—and with the prevalence of fat people in our lives, both in the malls and on the news—it’s easy to find a target for some soul-clearing, ego-boosting ranting.

You’re dumb.

I want the time it took me to read this vapid Newsweek filler material back.


Again, fatties

Friday, August 7th, 2009

I didn’t try to make fun before, but it may have felt like it. I still am not, just making observations. Also, fat is not really attractive. On to my first order of business:

IT MAY be time to hide the cookie jar. Over 26% of Americans are obese, with a weight to height ratio (or body mass index) of over 30, according to the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, a government body. Over the past ten years, waistlines have expanded in every state. In 1998 most states had a relatively trim population, with fewer than a fifth of adults obese. But since then the scales have tipped in the other direction. Now at least a quarter of adults in 32 states are obese. Mississippi is the fattest of all, with a third of its residents considered obese.

Trust me and click the link: the graph is essential! If you really want the full effect, read the comments about this at Drudge. Sometimes comments on the internet make my hair stand on end.

Now for the parts that will offend those who don’t understand it. They are also probably fat. From Erik J. Barzeski, Fat People = Poor People: (the comments here are worth their weight in gold)

There’s an interesting article at Salon that talks about how the fatter segment of the US population is also the poorer population. I sometimes wonder how stereotypes come about, and I often postulate that they come about because they are, for the most part, true (except for the blonde stereotype).

So it strikes me that poorer people tend to be:

  • Less well educated
  • Less active
  • More likely to drink beer and fast food

Yep, pretty much the same qualities a fat person would expect.

This blog (and related article) are from from about the half-way mark between 1998 and 2008. I’m going to surmise that there is probably a directly proportional relation to economic decline.

If you are smart or attractive, you’ll probably rise into a higher economic class. Yes, this is a societal form of natural selection. Go ahead and drive through some truly poor neighborhoods sometime; tell me how many really attractive people you see there. Count the number of overweight and ugly people you see. If they were smart, they would move up (regardless of education). Being smart does not necessarily mean you understand Plato’s Republic – IQ tests rely heavily on testing pattern recognition and abstract concepts at a certain speed rather than rote memorization.

Also, keep in mind that this is a macro-generalization and that there is an acceptable percentage of exceptions to the rule. There are plenty of fat people with money. There are plenty of smart people who are fat.

The Salon article Erik mentioned above is a book review for “Fat Land”.

The association of fat with a lower social status is probably intuitive for most Americans, but so far that’s mostly been treated as a cruel stereotype of the overweight, representatives of whom have gone on TV talk shows to tearfully protest that they are not “lazy” or “low class.” The innovation Critser brings to the literature of obesity is to take what turns out to be a valid perception after all — working-class and underclass people are more likely to be fat — and pull a switcheroo. Rather than regard class status as a stigma unfairly affixed to fat people, he presents fat as a heath liability unjustly foisted on the poor and insufficiently addressed by the affluent.

Ah, the eternally vicimized fatties.


Silence! I will explain a bit of my life to you, wonderful plebs!

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

My cable went out for most of last week, leaving me without the distraction of the internet. I actually managed to get some reading done. I also got out of the house more. I met some very interesting people and interacted with a few I hadn’t seen in a while.

The way people see me and the way I see myself have never really been the same. And when they tell me what they think of me, I get this weird sense of leading a phoney life.

Regardless of what level of success they may have achieved in their chosen field of work or study or what external proof they may have of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced internally they do not deserve the success they have achieved and are actually frauds. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they were more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.

I am manipulative and intelligent. And a hell of a fun guy. But it’s not me.

Also, I need to start smoking again to balance my damn emotions, I think. The lack of nicotine is wrecking my ability to act like I’m not schizophrenic. Maybe tomorrow I’ll pick it up again.

I found my passport the other day, tucked away in the glove compartment of my car. It’s been renewed and lacks any stamps. I have the memories and can recommend good restaurants in places you’ve never heard of, but I can’t advertise it or sneakily leave it laying around my bedroom to be stumbled upon. My foreign birth certificate and box full of survival gear will have to suffice. Shakespeare said something along the lines of Life is a stage and we are all actors playing our parts. I never see myself as more than a supporting role – but who is the star of this play?

Seneca said, “Life’s like a play; it’s not the length but the excellence of the acting that matters.” Which goes back to the whole seize the day, enjoy every moment as best you can deal. In order to make portions of our life seem grand, don’t we need something to contrast them to? Misery and melancholy, or at least sadness and unpleasantness would seem to be absolutely necessary. I’m in one of the happiest segments of my life to date, right now, and I suspect that if I hadn’t been in some rather shitty places before now, it wouldn’t mean fuck-all to me.

Also, gauging a girl’s reaction to the word cunt has got to be one of the easiest qualifiers of all time. Having dated both women who would say it more often then me and those who would display embarrassing amounts of offense to the very utterance, it seems to be a good way to separate the feminazis from the feminine.


Brighton Bodycasting

Saturday, March 7th, 2009

Some of these make me think of the face-hugger from Alien.

Which means that some women just have crazy looking vaginas. Some are just average looking. And only a few have really honest-to-goodness aesthetically pleasing cooters. A few girls I’ve known have been bashful of their naughty bits, although this might make them realize how normal their shit really looks, relatively speaking.

Posted simply because it involves vagina.


In Which I Say Things I Maybe Shouldn’t Say?

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

In Which We Enter The Box:

Through a couple of flukes (acquaintances, a cousin involved in the ownership) I’ve ended up at The Box twice in one week. The Box is a club in downtown Manhattan. It has a live burlesque show and a drinks list featuring $13,000 champagne (did I read that correctly?)

As with many such places, The Box adheres to a mystical door policy. On Visit #1 I was told to say “SUGAR RAY” as a password. On Visit #2 I was not allowed inside until my cousin poked his head out the door and identified me like a perp in a police lineup. Casual humiliation: a staple of the nightlife.

While reading this I kept getting the feeling I had read it before, and couldn’t quite figure out why. With some quick googling, I realized why. It was because I had read it before. Same work, same blog, different title. Maybe the talented Ms. Molly Young forgot that she posted it before. Maybe her raving fans will attack me again (That was the post in which I called her an attention whore. Maybe everyone missed the fact that anyone who writes/blogs is to some degree.)

A very entertaining piece, none the less.


Monday, February 2nd, 2009

News Release from the 4th Judicial District Attorney’s Office

Attorney’s Office announced that it will not prosecute the resident of 3212 Virginia Avenue, James Parsons, in connection with a shooting on December 28, 2008.

On December 28, 2008 at approximately 9:50 p.m. Colorado Springs police officers were dispatched to 3212 Virginia Avenue regarding a burglary in progress. As officers arrived they were advised that shots had been fired. Officers found an unknown male, later identified as Sean Kennedy, lying in the back yard near the back door of the residence. He was pronounced dead at the scene. An autopsy at the El Paso County Coroner’s Office later determined that Sean Kennedy died from two gunshot wounds.

Detectives from the Colorado Springs Police Department’s Violent Crimes Unit were dispatched and conducted a thorough investigation of the shooting. The investigation revealed that at about 9:45 p.m. on Sunday, December 28, 2008, the resident of 3212 Virginia Avenue was at home with his girlfriend when he saw a white GMC pickup truck drive up and park in front of his house, a small ranch-style home. The resident saw an unknown male get out of the truck and approach his front door. Two dogs belonging to the resident, including a German Sheppard, started barking loudly and continually as the unknown male began forcefully pounding and beating on the front door. He was yelling obscenities and appeared to be angry and upset. The unknown male continued to beat and pound on the door, during which time the resident told his girlfriend to call 911 and he went into the bedroom to get his gun, a revolver.

After several minutes the resident and his girlfriend saw the man run around to the back of the home. The resident positioned himself near the kitchen and saw the man at the back door. The man broke the lock on the back screen door, pulled open the screen door and began beating his fist on the back door. The man continued to yell obscenities. The man then broke out the pane of glass in the back door nearest to the dead bolt. The man put his arm in through the broken window and was using his hand to undo the deadbolt when the resident shot at the man three times with his revolver.

Physical evidence at the scene and other witness statements corroborated the statements of the resident and his girlfriend. Review of the 911 dispatch tape also confirmed the statement of the resident. At the beginning of the dispatch tape, the resident’s girlfriend was heard saying “someone’s trying to get in the house” and telling the dispatcher to “hurry up, he’s trying to get in the house!” The resident’s girlfriend was on the phone with a police dispatcher for nearly 4 ½ minutes while the unknown male was trying to get into the home. The resident’s girlfriend was then heard saying “Oh my God, he’s coming in the back door!” and then “Are they on their way, because oh my God, he broke in the glass!” followed by the sound of gunshots. Both the resident and his girlfriend immediately sought medical attention for Sean Kennedy.

The resident and his girlfriend cooperated fully with this investigation. The evidence from the dispatch tape and from investigative interviews indicated that they were both terrified during this incident and were traumatized by these events.
It was further determined through the investigation that Sean Kennedy lived at 3212 N. Institute Street, one street west of Virginia Avenue, with several roommates. According to witness statements, Sean Kennedy had been drinking alcohol with friends at a local golf course just prior to this incident. His blood alcohol level at autopsy was .261 gm/dl, over three times the legal driving limit.

Under Colorado Revised Statute section 18-1-704.5 the Colorado General Assembly “recognizes that the citizens of Colorado have a right to expect absolute safety within their own homes.” This law provides that any occupant of a dwelling is justified in using any degree of physical force, including deadly physical force, against another person when that other person has made an unlawful entry into the dwelling, and when the occupant has a reasonable belief that such other person intends to commit a crime or use any physical force, no matter how slight, against any occupant.

Based upon the evidence and a review of Colorado law governing the use of deadly physical force against an intruder, it is the opinion of the District Attorney’s Office that the resident of 3212 Virginia Avenue did not violate Colorado law, and he will not be prosecuted.

Sounds to me some yelling first, shooting second might have saved a whole lot of trouble. But, this is the sort of situation where everyone loses and there isn’t really anyone to punish. Mr. Kennedy’s family might be upset, but his actions lead to his early end. What’s the lesson here? Get someone to drive you home if your so drunk you might drive to the wrong house.