The future is bright for the lazy, fat, baby-making masses.

Also, I am being discriminated against for working hard, not polluting the world with children, being single (and not wanting to get hitched), and being skinny. Maybe they should give me a stimulus to make me fall in line.

Pair Accused of Filching Fillings From Dental Labs The headline for this article. Explaining it might ruin the fun.  I have to hand it to those zany AP writers – they got me good today.

This Fark.com thread is making me all sorts of stupid happy right now. The arguments about memeology (is that correct?) are funny, but the whole Glenn Beck “controversy” is pure gold. Father_Jack 2009-10-21 02:29:18 PM An-Unnecessarily-Long-Name: So you are saying its ok to take out an add in your hometown Newspaper saying you raped and [...]

America’s War on the Overweight Practically the minute President Obama announced Regina M. Benjamin, a zaftig doctor who also has an M.B.A. and is the recipient of a MacArthur “genius grant,” as a nominee for the post of Surgeon General, the criticism started. The attacks were vicious—Michael Karolchyk, owner of a Denver “anti-gym,” told Fox [...]

I didn’t try to make fun before, but it may have felt like it. I still am not, just making observations. Also, fat is not really attractive. On to my first order of business: IT MAY be time to hide the cookie jar. Over 26% of Americans are obese, with a weight to height ratio [...]

My cable went out for most of last week, leaving me without the distraction of the internet. I actually managed to get some reading done. I also got out of the house more. I met some very interesting people and interacted with a few I hadn’t seen in a while. The way people see me [...]

Some of these make me think of the face-hugger from Alien. Which means that some women just have crazy looking vaginas. Some are just average looking. And only a few have really honest-to-goodness aesthetically pleasing cooters. A few girls I’ve known have been bashful of their naughty bits, although this might make them realize how [...]

In Which We Enter The Box: Through a couple of flukes (acquaintances, a cousin involved in the ownership) I’ve ended up at The Box twice in one week. The Box is a club in downtown Manhattan. It has a live burlesque show and a drinks list featuring $13,000 champagne (did I read that correctly?) As [...]

News Release from the 4th Judicial District Attorney’s Office Attorney’s Office announced that it will not prosecute the resident of 3212 Virginia Avenue, James Parsons, in connection with a shooting on December 28, 2008. On December 28, 2008 at approximately 9:50 p.m. Colorado Springs police officers were dispatched to 3212 Virginia Avenue regarding a burglary [...]

Guy: How you doin’ today, man?Me: Besides being in jail? Oh, fine I suppose. Yes, today blew.