Echoes and Mirrors » humor

The Unbearable Death of Postmodernism

Daniel — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 04:55:42 +0000

I have some good news—kick back, relax, enjoy the rest of the summer, stop worrying about where your life is and isn’t heading. What news? Well, on 24th September, we can officially and definitively declare that postmodernism is dead. Finished. History. A difficult period in human thought over and done with. How do I know this? Because that is the date when the Victoria and Albert Museum opens what it calls “the first comprehensive retrospective” in the world: “Postmodernism—Style and Subversion 1970-1990.”

So… the party’s over folks. Please dispose of any empty bottles, used condoms, golden apples, skeletons, overcoats, or whatever it was you were playing with in the trash before leaving. Last one out turn the lights off.

Whatever is next ought to be fun. Let’s take a nap until then.

Quick and Dirty, but I couldn’t help it…

Daniel — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 22:01:22 +0000

Taking a quick break from studying to do this reflects how much I don’t care about time management. I know it’s a crappy photoshop job: I’m no photoshop guru, and that it only took 15 minutes doesn’t help either.

Holographic Bullshit is Always Possible

Daniel — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 20:42:52 +0000

Wired.com, in an apparent bid for worst science article headline, put this up: Holographic Telecommuting May Soon Be Possible

Which, if by ‘soon’ you mean decades from now, then sure. The accompanying article is mostly blah blah blah about how the projector works (which is actually kind of neat) but says flat out that it cannot do the 30 fps that is needed for quality. Instead it does one frame every two seconds. That just doesn’t match the headline but the real pièce de résistance is the very first (sorta) paragraph:

A new holographic display can transmit three-dimensional movies from one location to another almost in real time. If Princess Leia had to send her “Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope” message from Earth today, it would now be technologically possible.

Oh really? Well, look at the video of what they have developed:

And then compare it to R2D2 projecting the sexy, sexy Leia Organa in her plea for the former Jedi Master’s assistance:

Seriously, that’s just bullshit. The scientists get a pass on this one, but you science reporters (Lisa Grossman now represents all science reporters for the simplicity of me being snide) are now also ruining my expectations of the future by promising awesome technologies during my lifetime that I won’t see. Either go back to reporting on high school baseball games, or report this stuff without the fantastic hyperbole to inspire hope just to dash it by the end of the article (doing that is fine when reporting on sports, though).

Most Zen Video Ever Cut

Daniel — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:47:28 +0000

TOBACCO – Super Gum from TOBACCO on Vimeo.

It’s kinda zen like that. There is no denying that what is in this video exists. It’s not really horrifying, or pleasing. It’s more like a benign tumor. Yes, yes it is a tumor. This time.

If I ever make a movie, I want it to be something like this but with more explosions and keyboard cat.

You tell me what’s wrong with this picture

Daniel — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 07:18:22 +0000

(img pops)

That’s some serious anatomy. Way to go.

Dear Peasants: Fuck Off

Daniel — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:29:10 +0000

BP chair: Sorry for ‘small people’ remark on Gulf – Yahoo! News.

VENICE, La. – BP’s chairman has apologized for saying the company cares about the “small people” of the Gulf Coast hit by the oil disaster — a comment met with anger by those who say they are tired of the company’s executives making insensitive remarks.

On Wednesday, Carl-Henric Svanberg told reporters in Washington: “I hear comments sometimes that large oil companies are greedy companies or don‘t care, but that is not the case with BP. We care about the small people.” He later said he was sorry for speaking “clumsily.”

One of the distinctions Americans are unwilling to make is that of class. Equality knows no class boundaries. Well, not openly, anyway. Everyone knows that poor people don’t beat felony charges, while the rich can. That rich ugly people still get to fuck whomever they like and don’t have to deal with depression or stress. Rich folks have more elegant drug addictions and can bounce back and forth from recovery centers with glee.

So, peasants, just go back about your business of worrying about food on the table, watching reality television (but not making reality television), having sex with other poor, ugly people and doing your low-class drugs like meth.

However, he probably meant “little guy” as in “looking out for the little guy.” Which would have not been a faux pas, and would have endeared him to said peasants. Either way, I think theres a whole bunch of people out there that just need to man up.

Gorrilla: Life is a cruel joke.

Daniel — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 14:09:31 +0000

Aw hell, I don’t even comprehend what it might mean to die. I got the gist of it: poof, no more me. If I’m lucky, all that solipsism bull was right on the money and I can take you all with me into the void.

Brilliant!

Daniel — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:50:40 +0000

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c

Harry Markopolos

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Reform

‘it’s the stupid economy’ or ‘why I suffer from misanthropic tendencies’

World largest lightsaber battle

Daniel — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 17:59:39 +0000

Ironic for a country that has a serious problem with people regularly being stabbed?

It’s like /b/ in real life

Daniel — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 11:23:01 +0000

Mortuary Techs getting down and dirty:

The people employed to respectfully handle the remains of the deceased have instead turned cadavers and body parts into macabre playthings, The Post has learned.

And they shockingly documented their depraved foolery in photos taken as keepsakes.

Grinning mortuary technicians use corpses as props in dozens of disturbing Polaroids obtained by The Post.

Perhaps most disturbing of all is mortuary technician Kaihl Brassfield holding a severed head in a classic Heisman Trophy football pose.

It’s not as bad as this (NSFW, large image) but that’s still pretty morbid. I can’t say I wouldn’t do something like that if given the opportunity though.